{"id":773,"date":"2024-11-05T16:09:45","date_gmt":"2024-11-06T00:09:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/?p=773"},"modified":"2024-11-11T22:26:20","modified_gmt":"2024-11-12T06:26:20","slug":"a-love-letter-to-sarah-morgan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/a-love-letter-to-sarah-morgan\/","title":{"rendered":"A love Letter to Sarah Morgan"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Slightly edited from my reply to a reddit post<\/a> pitting Sarah against Andreja:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m a straight girl, so romantically, I prefer neither of them, but for the sake of wanting to see all dialog options I’ll boink all my companions, just in case I get different dialog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Except Sarah. Pardon my French, but fuck Sarah, and not in the fun way. My favourite part of starting a new character is knowing I get to “let her die,” but since I know she’s going to die, it’s basically killing her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My favourite part of a new playthrough is killing Sarah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She is rude when I pick up too many things, in a Bethesda game.<\/em> Half of every fucking Bethesda game is dealing with being ovencumbered!! She’s rude in the car with the janky steering.\u2020<\/sup> “I’ll try not to backseat drive!” But you just can’t help yourself, can you? Unless I know I’m going to need to listen to dialog around her, I turn my headset off. I don’t care if I get ambushed from behind. I cannot listen to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she’s not mad, she’s haughty, condescending, holier-than-thou, lacks all self awareness, and her accent is grating. I think they were trying to make her seem like a little blond bad-ass in combat, but she just gives off yappy-chihuahua-in-a-tutu vibes. “You’re nothing! Nothing!” Um, Sarah, they threw a rock at you and you died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She’s constantly badgering Sam about how to parent Cora and spell-checking his reports. I doubt she’s ever had a beer in her life, yet argues with Sam about it. I cannot deal with how she speaks to Andreja. It reeks of HR mandated Diversity & Inclusivity Day PowerPoint presentation<\/em>. “Hello person who is different from me, do they do this in your culture?” I’ve almost never heard her speak to or about Barret at all. Maybe Barret is simply beneath her. IDK. Whatever the reason, I envy him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have to savescum to get through dialog with her or anyone else if she’s around because speaking like a vaguely normal person or asking\u00a0hypothetical<\/em>\u00a0questions, gets her tits in a twist. Basically, unless you’ve somehow decoded how to please her, she hates everything you do. I will not take attitude from some bint who lives in my computer. That’s why Paladin Dense gets dressed in the pink sprinkle Slocumb’s Joe Power Armor and abandoned in the glowing sea; first time Dansey Pants opened his mouth, his fate was sealed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then as I’m sprinting down the finish line to make sure the game thinks she’s my favourite (and so I can save kid-in-a-tree\u2020\u2020<\/sup> who, unsurprisingly, Sarah also yells at) she’s all, “boo-hoo I push people away, everyone thinks I’m cold and distant, nobody likes me!” You’re not cold and distant; you’re actively awful and that’s why you’ll be forever alone, or at least until I off you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, I don’t like her face or her hair or her pants. But those are minor concerns I could fix if I didn’t hate her, just like I ditch Sam’s security-blanket hat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that’s why I’d rather bang Andreja. Or Sam. Or Vasco. Or hell, I’d rather bang the crusty guy with the museum ship full of tacky crap who keeps animals in the basement. Or even Danse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But not Sarah. Never Sarah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Fuck
Fuck you, Sarah.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u2020<\/sup> Please note, I have no problem with the janky steering. Bumper-car-ing my way across the moon is fun as hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2020\u2020<\/sup> Better than a fridge I guess<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Slightly edited from my reply to a reddit post pitting Sarah against Andreja: I’m a straight girl, so romantically, I prefer neither of them, but for the sake of wanting to see all dialog options I’ll boink all my companions, just in case I get different dialog…. <\/p>\n

Read more<\/i><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":779,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,8,58],"tags":[59],"class_list":["post-773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bethesda","category-gaming","category-starfield","tag-starfield"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/773","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=773"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/773\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":827,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/773\/revisions\/827"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/779"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=773"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=773"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/digitalgraffiti.ca\/twitch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=773"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}