Now, if you know me in person, you know that I have the cooking skills of a blind, deaf, child with no tongue. I neither read recipes nor listen to instructions from real people, so I can feed myself extremely basic things: spaghetti, jello, cheese on toast, cereal. I’m fine with this, because I don’t care how they taste. Cooking for other people? No. I don’t want to. That’s a lot of effort, and I would probably end up making someone sick.<\/p>\n
I just got a rolling pin as a drop. A rolling pin. So I can beat people to death with a rolling pin? Seems unlikely that I’d kill anyone with a kitchen implement, but it’s in keeping with my own personal life lore, so I’ll bite.<\/p>\n
Oh, It’s a legendary drop? That seems like a bit of a stupid waste of a legendary drop. Does it roll fancy patterns on their faces? Does it poison them, so I don’t have to wait for my cooking to do it? Does it set things on fire, like I’ve done to my kitchen before? Does it do double damage, like my cooking that’s boring AND might make you sick? Does it just sit in my cupboard and do nothing?<\/p>\n
Wait, what? It actually poisons people? I was kidding. Oh, Bethesda, you troll, I love you. I will probably never use this thing, but I’m definitely going to put it on display. I actually laughed out loud when I saw this thing. Thanks, Bethesda <3<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Now, if you know me in person, you know that I have the cooking skills of a blind, deaf, child with no tongue. I neither read recipes nor listen to instructions from real people, so I can feed myself extremely basic things: spaghetti, jello, cheese on toast, cereal. I’m fine with this, because I don’t… <\/p>\n